5 Pokémon That Desperately Need Mega Evolutions
Introduced in last year’s X and Y and further expanding in the upcoming Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, Mega Evolution took the Pokémon world by storm, and continues to be one of the most important updates to the franchise’s mechanics since the Physical/Special split of Generation 4.
For those that don’t know, the concept of Mega Evolution comes from having specific Pokémon hold a special item exclusive to them that allows them to temporarily evolve for the duration of the current battle. In addition to giving the Pokémon a badass new look, it also provides them with a 100 point boost to their base stat total and (most of the time) a new ability.
Since its implementation, Mega Evolution has drastically changed the way that Pokémon is played, both casually and competitively. Gone are the days of having to settle for a plain old Charizard; now you can have it turn into one of two even more badass versions of himself.
Needless to say, regardless of whether you’re a casual Pokémon Trainer or an unbeatable Pokémon Master, Mega Evolution is one of the coolest things to happen to Pokémon in a long time. Some Pokémon that desperately need a Mega Evolution, however, have been entirely overlooked. The following is a list of some Pokémon that really, really need Mega Evolutions (don’t expect any awesome fan art; I can’t draw for shit).
About half of the people reading this article forgot this long-necked mother fucker was even a Pokémon. And that’s entirely understandable: he’s fucking horrible. Introduced back in Generation 3, the Grass/Flying-type Tropius has always been a Pokémon that, I’ll admit, I really want to like. He has a design that is so close to looking cool that it’s even more depressing that he looks kind of goofy. Other than a somewhat passable bulk, his stats are terrible. His movepool falls somewhere between “bad” and “eh…” His typing gives him a 4x weakness to Ice, weaknesses to fairly common types, and a weakness to Stealth Rock. He has a couple abilities that could be decent, if only they were on a better Pokémon. Bottom line: Tropius is the perfect example of what happens when the creators give up halfway through designing a Pokémon.
But all is not lost: Tropius is ripe (Get it? Get it? Because he has fruit on… fuck it, never mind.) for a Mega Evolution. Here is my proposal to make Tropius not suck:
Typing: Take away the Flying-Type and make Tropius pure Grass. Its Flying-Type really doesn’t do much to help it; in fact, it causes the Fruit Pokémon more pain than it helps.
Stats: Tropius’ stats look like he was intended to be a bulky Grass-Type, but failed miserably at it. I’m proposing to go full on bulky with it: take away ten points from Speed, dropping its already terrible speed down to a dismal 41 (even Mega Evolution would not be able to help Tropius outspeed anyone, so we’re not going to try). By taking away these points, we now have 110 points to add to its stats instead of the normal 100. As such, 30 points should be added to both Defense and Special Defense, with the remaining 50 points going into Special Attack. We now have a pure Grass-Type with a respectable 99/68/113/122/117/41 layout. That’s both bulky and capable of dishing out some damage. Still not convinced? Maybe the ability will change your mind…
Ability: As other Mega Evolutions have done (like Kangaskhan), I propose Tropius get a brand new ability to call its own. The ability, tentatively called “Ripe Fruit,” would have Tropius restore 25% of his total health every other turn, with the restoration happening every turn during intense sunlight. Can you imagine how devastating Mega Tropius would be in sunshine? Soaking up hits that barely faze it, healing 25% of its health every turn and launching Solar Beams without having to wait a turn? Put this mofo on a Drought/Sunny Day team and watch the bodycount rise.
Many don’t think it can be done, but to them I say nay; I am going to attempt to make Luvdisc NOT absolutely awful. Luvdisc, the Water-Type introduced in Generation 3, has earned the distinction of being one of the most hated Pokémon of all time. It looks stupid and has dreadful stats, worthless abilities, and an unremarkable typing. The hate it has received is more than justified, because Luvdisc straight up fucking sucks. If you use it, you’re stupid. It’s just that simple.
While even Mega Evolution couldn’t make it great, it can make it not terrible (not every Mega Evolution has to be Uber Tier, you know). Here’s my idea.
Typing: Leave it a pure Water. There’s not much else to do with it.
Stats: 55 points will be added to Special Attack, and 15 will be added to Speed, Defense and Special Defense. This will bring Luvdisc’s stats up to 43/30/70/95/80/112. Still not that great, I know. Until…
Ability: Luvdisc, like Tropius, would get its own brand new ability. I’m going to call it “Olympic Swimmer.” This ability will, similar to the ability of Talonflame with Flying-Type moves, increase the priority of Luvdisc’s Water-Type moves. While 95 Special Attack isn’t anything to write home about and losing the ability to hold Choice Specs definitely hurts its overall damage output, you can’t deny how scary it is to be on the receiving end of a priority Hydro Pump. Throw in rain and suddenly Luvdisc goes from being the most hated Pokémon of them all to not being quite so terrible.
Who the hell doesn’t love Machamp? He’s a four-armed Fighting-Type from the original 151 that kicked some serious ass back in the Red and Blue days. Machamp already has pretty respectable stats and good abilities, why does he need a Mega Evolution? Well, if Garchomp and Salamence can get Mega Evolutions, then dammit, so can Machamp (besides, I would give anything for him to get either another two arms or two more legs, just so I can call him “Machoctopus”). Here’s how to make Machamp even more badass.
Typing: Leave it Fighting. Duh.
Stats: We’ll take 10 points from Special Attack, giving us 110 to work with. We’ll add 65 to Speed, 20 to Attack, 15 to Defense and 10 to Special Defense. This will bring Machoctopus to a terrifying 90/150/95/55/95/120. Those are the kinds of stats to make weaker Pokémon shit themselves (as if the eight extremely muscular limbs hadn’t done that already).
Ability: I’m going to be a bit reserved on this one. Machoctopus’ ability will become one of the abilities Machamp already has: No Guard, making it so that all moves used by you and your opponent have 100% accuracy. Dynamicpunch with STAB and 100% accuracy coming from a Pokémon with 150 base Attack and 120 base Speed? Go ahead and change your shorts.
There are so many factors that contribute to me loving Noctowl. Owls are just badass animals (and my college’s mascot), Ash had the shiny one in the show, it has a bunch of awesome Psychic-Type moves despite just being Generation 2’s typical early-game Normal/Flying-Type bird, and so much more. Sadly, with only passable stats, worthless abilities and a lackluster typing, Noctowl is all but forgotten in the modern game.
This is a travesty that I will not allow to continue (at least in my Mega Evolution-creating fantasy world). Noctowl more than deserves a Mega Evolution, and here’s what it would look like.
Typing: Drop the Normal half and make the Owl Pokémon a combination Psychic/Flying-Type. Noctowl has a bunch of awesome Psychic-Type attacks; a lot of people probably thought he was a Psychic-Type already.
Stats: We’ll take 10 points from Attack so we have 110 to work with. With Noctowl having 100 base HP, the Owl Pokémon is already set to be one bulky mother fucker. We’ll add 40 points to Defense (to further reinforce its bulk), 40 to Special Attack and 30 to Speed. This will leave Mega Noctowl with 100/40/90/116/96/100.
Ability: Here’s the fun part: Bad Dreams. Yes, Darkrai’s signature ability is now shared with a big owl. Every turn the opponent is asleep, it loses 1/8th of its total HP. Mega Noctowl’s entire game is going to be trying to put its opponents to sleep with Hypnosis. Once the opponent is asleep, STAB-boosted Dream Eater will decimate the opponent and heal Mega Noctowl’s huge HP stat. In addition, Bad Dreams will continue to wreak havoc on the opponent for every turn it remains asleep. While much of Mega Noctowl’s utility rides on Hypnosis not missing (as it only has 60 accuracy), when it does hit the opponent, you’re going to be very happy it did.
Kabutops is almost awesome, and it deserves to be. He looks badass, he learns some good moves, and his typing is pretty fun to throw around. That being said, his stats are just above average and his abilities aren’t anything special. If any Pokémon deserves an increase to its badass factor, it’s the Rock/Water-Type Shellfish Pokémon from Generation 1 that was already so close to being amazing.
Typing: While it does provide Kabutops with an unfortunate 4x weakness to Grass, its Rock/Water typing does well for it. It’s here to stay.
Stats: 10 points will be added to both Defense and Special Defense, 30 points will be added to Attack, and 50 points will be added to Speed. This brings Kabutops’ stat total to 60/145/115/65/80/130.
Ability: I cannot be the only person who thinks this shouldn’t have already happened: Tough Claws. Tough Claws increases the power of the Pokémon’s moves that make physical contact by 33%. Base 145 Attack and base 130 Speed set up Mega Kabutops to be one hell of a physical sweeper. Add to that the fact that all of his moves that make physical contact are automatically boosted in power by a third and you have a recipe for one terrifyingly strong shellfish.
These are just a few of my many ideas for Mega Evolutions that should exist. If this article gets a good enough response, who knows, I may do another one. Do you guys have any ideas for Pokémon that need a Mega Evolution? Are mine awesome? Do they suck? Let us know any and all thoughts you have in the comments below.