Warner Bros. Should Make A Crossover Fighting Game… And Here’s How They Should Do It
By: Jordan Barbeau
So, I have an idea.
It’s a crazy idea, so stay with me here. Shit’s about to get a little bizarre.
I’m proposing that Warner Bros. make a universe-spanning crossover fighting game.
“What?” I know you’re asking yourself. “But Jordan, that sounds dumb. And we already have Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Who else could we want to fight each other?”
First off, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe was an abomination of a game, and you should never quote it when trying to prove a point. Shame on you. Second, a massive amount of A-list properties, that’s who.
Before we get into the details, I’ll outline the general idea for those who think that I’m not in my right mind. In the vein of the Marvel vs. Capcom series spinning off of the Street Fighter series, this WB crossover fighting game (which, until someone feeds me a better title, will tentatively be referred to as Super Smash [Warner] Bros.) will take significant inspiration from and essentially spin off of WB’s signature fighting game franchise, Mortal Kombat. The game would be very similar in gameplay to the recent Mortal Kombat 9, only with a lighter, slightly quicker feel to it (again, similar to Marvel vs. Capcom and Street Fighter). It would maintain Mortal Kombat’s input commands and fighting style, only with a more swift, easily executed combo system.
Now, let’s talk about the aspect of the game that everyone reading this is questioning: the characters. Who would fit into this crazy game? Fortunately, Warner Bros. has a roster of A-list characters that most people don’t realize they own. For example, everyone knows that WB owns Mortal Kombat and the DC Universe, so of course the game will include the likes of Scorpion, Sub Zero, Batman, Superman, etc. But did you know that back in the mid-90s, Warner Bros. purchased New Line Cinema, and in the 2000s, closed it as a studio and added their entire film collection to their own catalog? The following is a list of some of the characters that WB now owns because of this:
- Any Lord of the Rings character
- Freddy Krueger
- Jason Voorhees
- The Mask
- Austin Powers
- The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- And many, many more
What nerd on this earth wouldn’t give the clothes off of their back to kick Austin Powers’ ass with Jason Voorhees? Not one, that’s who.
In addition to the characters acquired in the buyout of New Line, WB also has an extensive list of characters of their own. Scooby-Doo, any of the Looney Tunes, The Flinstones, the Jetsons, Tom and Jerry, and basically any cartoon you watched when you stayed home sick from grade school is owned by WB. That’s not even bringing up the fact that WB owns the Harry Potter franchise. Yes, begin throwing your money at your screen now.
Now, we’ve discussed how Super Smash (Warner) Bros. would play, and we’ve discussed a few of the many characters that would be included in the game. Let’s talk about the slightly more controversial part of spinning off a Mortal Kombat game: to Fatality, or not to Fatality? And that is NOT the question.
Of course there will be Fatalities. Duh. What do you think this is, a game with subtlety?
Fatalities will be included in the game in a way that leads to some of the most controversial depictions of once family-friendly characters the world has ever seen. And it would be GLORIOUS. I have included a short list of just a few of the characters’ Fatalities that I have put far too much thought into:
- Harry Potter: Upon initiating the Fatality, Harry points his wand at the opponent and screams “SECTUMSEMPRA!” As those who are Potter fans know, the spell slashes at the opponent as if they were being cut by an invisible sword, leaving them a screaming, bloody mess lying on the ground. As they lay there, dying of blood loss, Harry begins to speak Parseltongue. Moments later, we hear the distinct sound of slithering. A massive basilisk comes into view, swallows the dying opponent whole, and slithers off.
- Bugs Bunny: As the opponent is standing there swaying (as they do when a Fatality is initiated), we hear the voice of Elmer Fudd shout “YOU WASCLY WITTLE WABBIT!” He runs into view, and begins firing his shotgun at Bugs. Bugs dodges all the shots, but is finally cornered in front of his still-swaying opponent. Fudd holds up his gun, points it at Bugs’ face, and fires one last shot. Bugs, with his cartoonishly quick reflexes, ducks his head and parts his ears wide enough so that the shot misses him, but blows off the head of his opponent. He sees what has happened, pulls out a carrot, leans against his now-headless opponent, and says, “Eh, tough break, Doc.” The opponent falls to the ground, dead.
- Gandalf the Grey: Gandalf shouts his famous line, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” He slams his staff into the ground, and a fissure opens at his feet. Lava can be seen bubbling hundreds of feet below, and both Gandalf and his opponent fall into the gaping chasm. We watch the opponent fall the entire way, hitting the lava and quickly vaporizing, After several seconds of silence, we see a glorious light shining from inside the fissure. We see a hand grab the ledge, as Gandalf the White emerges from the chasm.
These are but a few of my batshit crazy ideas for this game. So, what say you? Am I on to something to the point where I should start a Kickstarter to convince WB to make Super Smash (Warner) Bros.? Or am I completely off my rocker? Want to hear more of my insane ideas for the game? Want to leave suggestions for something awesome I may not have thought of? Do it in the comments, fellow insane idea-mongers.